Post-It: ETD 00:01am
Apr. 30th, 2014 09:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maced_eggs[Spam for the Dining Room, Morning]
[Last night, Mason, Grim Reaper, age 27 and dead for the last forty years, shucked off his muddy, blood-stained clothes and fell asleep on a couch in his Union Jack underwear.
This morning, Mason, still dead, wakes up on the Barge.
Mason's never been much of what anyone might call "consciously aware", or "observant." For example; he fails to observe he is not in his home when he wakes up. He fails to observe that all of his clothes have gone missing.
What he does observe is that he is bloody starving, and needs a very, very large breakfast to erase the nightmare of the day before. So after failing to observe that he is completely pantsless, Mason shuffles out of his room and off to find food.
Which is why, still half asleep and very nearly naked, is a man barging through the breakfast bar gathering up as many miniature cereal boxes in his arms as he possibly can. He doesn't merely stop when they're all gone: systematically, he goes around to every table he nears and plucks them from unsuspecting eaters when he guesses they're not looking.
Arms loaded with cereal, the mysterious, nearly naked man attempts to make a retreat.
He doesn't yet have the capacity to guess where he is at the moment, aside from the completely unhelpful "Not at home." But at least there will always be Fruit Loops.]
[Last night, Mason, Grim Reaper, age 27 and dead for the last forty years, shucked off his muddy, blood-stained clothes and fell asleep on a couch in his Union Jack underwear.
This morning, Mason, still dead, wakes up on the Barge.
Mason's never been much of what anyone might call "consciously aware", or "observant." For example; he fails to observe he is not in his home when he wakes up. He fails to observe that all of his clothes have gone missing.
What he does observe is that he is bloody starving, and needs a very, very large breakfast to erase the nightmare of the day before. So after failing to observe that he is completely pantsless, Mason shuffles out of his room and off to find food.
Which is why, still half asleep and very nearly naked, is a man barging through the breakfast bar gathering up as many miniature cereal boxes in his arms as he possibly can. He doesn't merely stop when they're all gone: systematically, he goes around to every table he nears and plucks them from unsuspecting eaters when he guesses they're not looking.
Arms loaded with cereal, the mysterious, nearly naked man attempts to make a retreat.
He doesn't yet have the capacity to guess where he is at the moment, aside from the completely unhelpful "Not at home." But at least there will always be Fruit Loops.]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:24 am (UTC)[Mason is not doing well for himself, clearly. Cassel doesn't entirely know what to make of half-naked men juggling cereal boxes, but when said half-naked men attempt to steal his cereal box, he slaps their hands away.]
[That is to say: please note him currently slapping Mason's hand away.]
Get off.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:27 am (UTC)Well, fluffy blue slippers, at any rate, probably stolen from Georgie. Or someone else. He can't quite remember.
Waking up at ow, the very real pain of being smacked away, Mason squints down at Cassel, and makes another grab at the cereal box]
Oi, look over there, it's Mick fucking Jagger!
[That cereal box is his, dammit. It has marshmallows in it]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:28 am (UTC)Do I look like I give a shit about imaginary Mick Jagger? There are probably a thousand cereal boxes here, go steal someone else's.
[His marshmallows. His.]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:31 am (UTC)How's about this. I'll trade you. Your Lucky Charms for my Honey Nut Cheerios. You're not going to get a better trade'n than, I guarantee you.
[He holds up the box with both hands, showing it to Cassel like he's Vanna White]
Says right here it reduces cholesterol. And you can't put a price on that, can you? S'way better than a bunch of stale marshmallows.
C'mon, hand it over. C'mon c'mon c'mon.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:36 am (UTC)Okay, here are the issues with your argument.
Point one, Honey Nut Cheerios are several tiers of excellence down from Lucky Charms. They have no marshmallows in them and way less sugar. I would be trading down. No deal.
Point two, I'm not taking some random asshole's cereal, it might be poisoned.
Point three, my cholesterol's fine, and even if it wasn't, I've already died three times, I don't care.
Point four, you're not wearing pants.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:38 am (UTC)Whuh...Lucky Charms are not better than Honey Nut Cheerios. Do you have any idea what Lucky Charms does to your arteries? One day you're sitting around snacking on some all-colors-of-the-rainbow and the next, Bam, you're lying dead on the floor of a heart attack at forty-three.
[He picks up the box a third time, evidently never learning]
I'm saving your fucking life, is what I'm doing! Now piss off.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:40 am (UTC)I'm not going to 'piss off', this is my table.
Sit the hell down and eat your Honey Nut Cheerios like an adult.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:43 am (UTC)Why the fuck don't they put marshmallows in Cheerios?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:44 am (UTC)Because Cheerios is the cereal that people eat when they want to convince themselves they're being healthy. Marshmallows aren't healthy.
Who the fuck are you supposed to be?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:47 am (UTC)Cheerios don't save your life, mate. Not when you're more like to get hit by a bus.
Oh, I'm. No one. Or something. God, do you know when you just wake up after one shitty, shitty night and have no idea where the fuck you are?
Why is it so fucking cold in this room?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:53 am (UTC)[He peers suspiciously at Mason and throws another marshmallow. Maybe the guy'll start catching them in his mouth.]
I mean, yeah, I have, but usually I remember my name at least.
It's because of the frost giants. They're coming.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 02:56 am (UTC)[He squints again as the marshmallow bounces off his forehead, but only picks it off the table and eats it]
Cheers.
And I remember my name, all right? It's Mason. Fuck off with your fucking frost giants.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:04 am (UTC)[The rest of the marshmallows go straight into Cassel's mouth, because fuck you, that's why. He arches his eyebrows in a way that he probably thinks is dramatic and interesting.]
Don't talk to the frost giants like that.
Cassel.
You're one of the biggest assholes I've ever met, you know that? Stealing a guy's cereal.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:07 am (UTC)That's right. Live it up, Cassel. Enjoy your nommy little marshmallows.
[He begins to scoop up his own boxes, to make a little box fortress on top of the table]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:10 am (UTC)Yum.
[He eats another marshmallow.]
[Muahaha.]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:13 am (UTC)That was an extremely hurtful remark, Cassel. Do you purposely go 'round pissing on other people's doorsteps like that?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:15 am (UTC)[He pushes the half-empty box across the table with one finger.]
And then I give the doorstep a gift, because I'm a mysterious and fickle young man, full of whims. Happy birthday.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:17 am (UTC)Aaaaaahhh.
[He opens and closes his mouth, smacking his teeth against the marshmallows]
Aumn nahm nahm. Nahm. That is good. That is delicious.
Marshmallows are the perfect little food.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:23 am (UTC)Well, I'm freaking delighted, then. I mean, you're not wrong. But. Eugh.
You're such a weirdo. When's the last time you even ate?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:25 am (UTC)Dunno. Pro'bly somewhere around last night, or last...morning, or something. I know I was in der fucking Waffle Haus but...
[He pauses, setting down the box, and looks deadly serious at Cassel, leaning forward to speak to him in a low tone]
Cassel.
It has recently come to my attention that I seem to have misplaced my trousers.
And I don't know what to do.
I guess bucky is eating breakfast with all your characters
Date: 2014-05-01 03:30 am (UTC)He hadn't realized being dead would also apparently still mean being hungry all the time, but here we are.
Which means he's definitely there to witness some of this cereal thievery, and when he spots Mason making a grab for yet another box for his already impressive stack, he's honestly not sure what he wants to comment on first.
Because seriously, what the hell?]
You forget to pack a change of clothes?
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:32 am (UTC)Hey what are you....?
[The angry protest dies off mid-sentence. Crichton has just noticed, because he is pretty observant, that the would be cereal-napper forgot a few crucial steps this morning.]
Why are...did you...did you lose a bet?
[He can't fathom that a person would do this for any other reason, let alone accidentally.]
breakfast for everyone!
Date: 2014-05-01 03:35 am (UTC)[at seeing a man in uniform, Mason begins to back up, his hands clutching about two dozen cereal boxes, some of them slipping out to the floor]
Officer, I swear, I thought they were free. Look, you can't even see the little-
[Suddenly, Mason in an effort to flee the scene of the crime wings a box of Captain Crunch at Bucky's head and bolts for the kitchen doors]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 03:38 am (UTC)[Without looking at Crichton, Mason begins to load his arms full of as many cereal boxes as he can carry. He tries to put one in his pants' pocket, but because he has no pants he ends up just dropping the box to the floor. Amazingly, he doesn't notice]
No, I didn't lose a bet. I'm starving. There's fucking free food everywhere and it's mine. Everything with the little prizes in it is mine, I've claimed it.
...This too.
[Yep, nabbing Crichton's breakfast tray from his hands]
no subject
Date: 2014-05-01 10:00 am (UTC)This is her kind of new inmate.]
Did you want some real food at all, sweetheart, or are you like one of them advertising leprechauns?