maced_eggs | Post-It: ETD 00:02am

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[Sitting in someone else's cabin wearing someone else's stolen leather pants is Mason, playing with a stolen mess hall fork. Either he can't remember where he lives or he just straight up has difficulty caring]

So wait.

I'm a pris'ner.

But I don't have to work.

And I get free food and my own bed.

And no one's fuckin' yelling at me to pay rent. An' I'm basically on a cruise line with a spa and a pool and pretty girls.

Honestly, I'm struggling to find a downside. Isreally hard.

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Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

routemistress

I know, right, lovey? I love it 'ere meself. Best job I've ever 'ad. And folk look at me like I'm batty when I say that. People are peculiar, that's what.

From:

maced_eggs

Issa job for you, maybe. Not so much for me. I'd be perfectly content flitting around from galaxy to galaxy doing nothing but enjoying the fruits of the land, or whatever the fuck grows here.

That is a very lovely hat you're wearing.

From:

routemistress

Oh, you are sweet! Thank you.

Nah, I'd get bored without trouble and danger and dangerous bastards to wrestle on a daily basis, me. But those are laid on 'ere as well. It's brilliant.

From:

maced_eggs

Least we can't die again, eh? Seeing as how we're already dead.

Which leads me to my next point. Why the fuck did it take me this long to figure out that all I needed to do was kill someone an' that would take me here? Not that I've been here long enough to properly judge but this is a far, far better place than where I fucking left, excluding one or two things on the side.

Honestly, it's like receiving a get-out-of-your-shit-afterlife-free card.

From:

routemistress

Speak for yourself, lovey, I'm very much alive. Though getting killed doesn't stick 'ere - when everything's working right, any road.

Would you 'ave done it on purpose? If you'd known?

From:

maced_eggs

You're alive? That doesn't make any sense. I was told all of us were dead. I'm dead. Dead dead...capital D.

It was on purpose. The whole..killing bit. Not the coming-to-the-space-cruise bit, but yeah, most probably.

But I'm not a bad person.

From:

routemistress

I don't believe there's such a thing as a bad person. Just people that do bad things. There's always a reason.

Admittedly, sometimes their reasons're just that they like it, but it's still a reason. What were yours, love?

From:

maced_eggs

Ray was a fucking wanker and deserved to die. Thassmy reason. He deserved it. He was the piss scum of the earth and he.

Did things.

Things I did not like.

From:

routemistress

And I'm not dead 'cause I'm a volunteer.

'Ow did it make you feel?

From:

maced_eggs

No one told me I could volunteer. If I knew I could volunteer I'dve gone and done it decades ago.

Bloody satisfied.

...An' scared, but not at the time. A little.

An'...regretful. Not for him, he was a diseased rat in human form.

...Do you think that makes me a bad person? Not being sad because I went and killed someone?

From:

routemistress

No. I don't. You don't look to me like you enjoyed it, or like you did it casually. Like you think people don't matter. Or like you'd want to make an 'abit of it.

From:

maced_eggs

I wasn't making a habit of it. I was making a habit of his not being alive anymore because he is a fucking arsehole an' he deserved every bit of it.

But I'm not normally a killer, right? I didn't go off on him planning to kill him. It was not premedicated.

[He means premeditated]

From:

routemistress

Some of me best friends've been professional killers. Retired, mind you. I'd 'ave a hard time getting on with someone doing it on the regular still. I don't like people being dead, as a rule.

Then again, there's always the odd exception.

From:

maced_eggs

I don't like people being dead either. Isfucking depressing, isn't it? I have seen too...too much death.

No more death, please. Thassa best part of the Barge. No more fucking death. No babies dying of heat exposure in the car because their mum ran into the supermarket on a hot day, no kids fallin' off trains breaking their necks. No one jumping off buildings going splat.

I am badly in need of a drink.

From:

routemistress

[She only nods, her eyes gone distantly sad; Iris has spent her life trying to save people, and she's had her share of missed catches and outright failures. It hurts her; the pain and the stupidity and the waste, and whatever else might fly over Mason's head, he gets that. She can see it in his face.

It's here and now she loses any doubt she had about Mason.]

Get your arse up to the pub, then, why don't you. Meet you there.

From:

maced_eggs

[No need to tell him twice. He's off and scurrying to the pub, grabbing his fork with him. On his few lucid moments, it's clear his job weighs far, far too heavily on his mind.]

Please and thank you. Thank you. A thousand times thank you.

From:

with_my_teacup

Nice fork.

[Usually the kitchen staff are extremely good at making sure silverware doesn't wander off and become weapons and/or improvised electronic gadgets, but times have been chaotic and things have been in flux. Riddick knows how he got it, he's just not happy about it.]

Not actually a residency perk, though.

From:

maced_eggs

[Mason, oblivious, keeps flicking the fork back and forth, bending the little prongs and making it go all wonky]

Whassnot a perk?

Here, why are you wearing your goggles inside? Going for a swim later on?

From:

with_my_teacup

Sensitive eyes. It's a pre-existing condition.

Fork. Not perk. I understand they sound similar.

Maybe bring it back. [Or he'll come for it in the night, and whatever others Mason's stashed.]

From:

maced_eggs

You're like a mole person. Do you live underground, where you come from? Are all your kind mole people?

...No, thank you. I found it, no one was using it. Is'mine now.