Post-It: ETD 00:04am

[maced_eggs]

[Video]

[Sometime shortly before lunch, an explosion of suds and soapy water escapes the laundry room, leaking out into the hallway. The immediate cause may or may not be Mason, who stands ankle-deep in the flood, missing his shirt and watching in horrified fixation as his own clothes not only wash themselves, but overload all the machines.]


This was not my fault.

...Honestly!!

But I should really like someone corporeal to come do my washing so that this does not happen again.

If anything, it's the Barge's fault for making its machines so bloody complicated. Who the fuck has ghosts doing their fuckin' laundry?

[He sits down in the suds, watching the self-washing laundry in perplexed hopelessness. Might as well take a bath while he's at it]

Comments

[maced_eggs]

Yes, but how is it wrong? If you're dead, who the fuck cares who nicks your stuff after you're gone?

[sickjoke]

Your friends. Your family. The people you leave behind. [ Duh, Mason. ] Seriously. How do you now get thaqt people are not islands?

Right, let's get this-- cleaned up...

[ He's not taking off his gloves, jacket or rolling up his sleeves. He is, however, reaching to haul Mason along. ]

[maced_eggs]

[Mason doesn't move until he's physically dragged along, opening his mouth in protest]

I don't see why I have to clean it up if I didn't make the mess..

[sickjoke]

Yeah, well, life isn't fair.

[ Come on, tine to get laundry out of these things. And get royally soaked in the process. ]

[maced_eggs]

[he does so, dragging his feet the whole way through]

Death. Death is not fair.

[sickjoke]

Whatever, kid. Haul laundry more, whine less.

[ Sometimes it takes some tough love to get through these sorts. ]

[maced_eggs]

[Kid? Whine? Mason takes the opportunity to make faces at Red Hood behind his back, dragging out piles of wet clothes in his arms]

How old do you think I am, exactly?

[sickjoke]

Old enough to know better, still young enough to not care.

[ Ha ha. ]

[maced_eggs]

I care about important things.

Laundry is not one of these things.

[sickjoke]

Laundry is important if you are not a thief and enjoy not smelling like a sty.

[maced_eggs]

...Ergo laundry is not important, Little Red.

[sickjoke]

Red Hood. There's nothing about me that qualifies as 'little'.

[ ...that wasn't a dick joke, we swear. He's over six-four! ]

[maced_eggs]

Little Red Riding Hood.

Little Red.

Can't blame me when you go around looking like you do.

[sickjoke]

I am neither riding nor little. So: Red Hood.

[maced_eggs]

That makes no bloody sense.

[sickjoke]

Neither does stealing from the dead so you don't have to buy a pair of darn jeans!

[maced_eggs]

How does that not make sense? It's very logical. I've explained the steps.

[sickjoke]

Yes, I know! I know, and still boggle that you have rationalized that you're stealing from people is somehow okay because somebody died! It's a very artful rationalizing. Makes it totally not your fault at all that they didn't have their stuff already given away by the time they died.

It's just so-- pat and yet amazingly self serving and petty.

[maced_eggs]

It isn't like I'm the one killing them, Red. I'm only taking what they can't use any longer. Issa public service and I don't get paid. Fuck off, yes?

[sickjoke]

It's not yours to take.

God, you're like those rookies who get into the heroing business thinking they're going to make bank stealing from crooks. It doesn't work that way!

[ And he sounds genuinely upset that Mason doesn't think anything of victimizing people-- first the dead, then their families. It's just so boggling that he can't see where this is wrong. ]

[maced_eggs]

[Mason drops down into the water, sitting down and clearly done with cleaning up]

Hang on. Who said anythin' about heroing business? I'm not a hero, I am a fucking grim reaper and I do what I like.

[sickjoke]

[ Jack promptly dumps the soaking wet laundry in his arms Mason. Take that, you whiner. ]

Not here you don't.

[maced_eggs]

[A slightly hurt cry, as Mason's splashed by a wet sleeve]

What was that for?!

[sickjoke]

[ He gets the last load and promptly dumps it on Mason. ]

I think you need to learn to clean up your own messes. You have no idea-- the people you hurt or the damage you cause, just by being petty! I wish I could make you get how that's harmful, but that's going to be somebody else's job.

[maced_eggs]

[Sopping wet, Mason, pulls off a pair of jeans from his head with a grunt, frowning up at Red Hood]

Where'd all this come from?