Post-It: ETD 00:04am

[maced_eggs]

[Video]

[Sometime shortly before lunch, an explosion of suds and soapy water escapes the laundry room, leaking out into the hallway. The immediate cause may or may not be Mason, who stands ankle-deep in the flood, missing his shirt and watching in horrified fixation as his own clothes not only wash themselves, but overload all the machines.]


This was not my fault.

...Honestly!!

But I should really like someone corporeal to come do my washing so that this does not happen again.

If anything, it's the Barge's fault for making its machines so bloody complicated. Who the fuck has ghosts doing their fuckin' laundry?

[He sits down in the suds, watching the self-washing laundry in perplexed hopelessness. Might as well take a bath while he's at it]

Comments

[notsoneedy]

If you're going to lie, the least you could do is put a little more effort into it.

[maced_eggs]

Yeahhhhh no. No, I don't think I will. I have zero investment. This was not my fault. It's not my fault your bloody ship is broken.

[notsoneedy]

It's not my "bloody" ship. I was brought here against my will, too.

[maced_eggs]

Oh.

Oh, well. Then don't yell at me.

[notsoneedy]

Oh my god, are you like barely functionally special-needs or something?

[maced_eggs]

N-no.

No!


No, I'm not. An' for the record, I take offense to that statement, thank you very much.

[notsoneedy]

I take a whole of a lot more offense to the fact you can somehow fuck up doing laundry even this badly, and then not be bothered by it.

Seriously, I've been washing my own clothes since I was ten.

[maced_eggs]

I did not fuck up doing laundry. I didn't touch the fuckin' machines, all right?

Not my department to fix things that break all on their own.


Awwhh, good for you. Now fuck off.

[notsoneedy]

Yeah, sure, whatever. Just try not to break anything else useful in the next five minutes, okay? You're not the only one who has to live here.

[maced_eggs]

Would you please stop saying I broke it? I didn't break it. I'm an innocent man.

[notsoneedy]

You're here, and you're obviously not a volunteer. So that can't be entirely true, now can it?

[maced_eggs]

I am innocent. Jus' because I happen to also be dead does not mean that you can go around pinning the blame on me.

[notsoneedy]

Something tells me I'm not the only one.

[maced_eggs]

Well, you are, so...so there.

[notsoneedy]

"So there"? Really? Are you twelve?

[maced_eggs]

I'm twenty-seven.

Ish.

[notsoneedy]

Well you sure as fuck don't act like it, junior. So maybe you should think about that.

And what do you mean, "ish"?

[maced_eggs]

Means I spent a bit of time being undead afterwards.

Forty years, give or take.

[notsoneedy]

Are you a zombie? Or a vampire?

[maced_eggs]

Neither. I'm a reaper.

An' evidently I'm the only one anyone's ever seen on the Barge, which is fuckin' annoying having to explain it every time.

[notsoneedy]

You should write a pamphlet. That seems to be the way they handle repetitive questions around here.

[maced_eggs]

Nah. I'm not good at writing.

[notsoneedy]

Big fucking surprise.

[maced_eggs]

Why are you so mean? I don't think I did anything to you. At least I don't remember doing anything to you.

[notsoneedy]

I have a lot of anger.

[Said in that very flat, straightforward kind of way that's both sarcastic and completely serious.]

Plus I just don't have much patience for selfish losers.