Post-It: ETD 00:18am [Video]

[maced_eggs]

[So since he's not permitted in the pub anymore, Mason has decided that the pool is a close second preference. Wearing a swimsuit with the Union Jack on it, he lies half in and half out of an inner tube, his rabbit perched precariously on his chest. Do rabbits like water? Can they swim? Who knows?

He drums his fingers on the inner tube, petting a sniffy rabbit with his free hand]

...Right.


Evening, Barge. Or, morning, or whatever the fuck time it is.

Let's you and me have a little betting game. I bet...you can't knock me out of this tube. You bet you can.

If I win, you've got to go get me a beer from the pub.

And if you lose, you've got to go get me a beer from the pub.

First challengers being accepted now.

Comments

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

[He leans over to give Johnny a gentle kiss on the head]

Nah. Jus' slow.

[spam]

[tucky]

[She laughs again, making a show of exaggeratedly peering at Johnny's eyes.]

Yeah-- they look fine to me!

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

[Johnny, in fact, peers obliviously up at Tiffany, sniffing at her. Treat? No?]

Yeah. He's not blind, he's jus' a bit special needs, is Johnny-Boy.

[spam]

[tucky]

What does a smart rabbit do?

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

Not run himself into walls, for a start. Or try to eat things rabbits shouldn't eat.

Or, when he gets scared or threatened, falls over on his side all frightened an' helpless.

[spam]

[tucky]

Playing dead? I didn't know rabbits did that.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

They don't, an' he isn't. He just gets so bloody overwhelmed by whatever he's frightened by, he can't think of what to do. So he does nothing.

[spam]

[tucky]

Oh.

Gonna get him eaten someday, though.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

Which is why I've got to protect him. Isshard here, when you're an animal without teeth or claws.

[spam]

[tucky]

You worry about people, too?

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

Sometimes. More'n I used to, that's a fact.

[spam]

[tucky]

You know, I hunted rabbits before.

Now, don't get all freaky on me-- they was wild ones. And they looked a lot different from this. So what I'm saying is, if you're worried about people getting mixed up and hunting yours here, you probably don't need to. Wild ones and pet ones don't look a thing alike.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

[Mason still looks a little distressed, and holds his hands out to take the bunny back]

M'not worried about them mixing the two sorts up, love. Johnny gets hurt, it'll be because of something I've done, not because someone wanted a quick bite of rabbit stew.

[spam]

[tucky]

Okay.

[She passes Johnny back, a little reluctantly.]

I mean it, I ain't gonna hurt your rabbit.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

I know.

[He takes the bunny up in his arms, holding him gently and petting his ears down]

But he's already been threatened twice, an' I get a bit jumpy. I don't know if the Admiral brings back pets.

[spam]

[tucky]

What, you mean if they get lost or something?

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

Nah. I mean if someone kills them.

[spam]

[tucky]

... You can't come back from the dead.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

...Hasn't anyone explained that to you yet?

Fucking hell..

[spam]

[tucky]

What are you talking about?

[She asks it warily, wondering if this has something to do with all the inmates being dead.]

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

I'm talking about you not knowing now death works here. Which isn't something to be ashamed about - fuck, I'd been involved with death forty fucking years, you still learn something new - but it works different on the Barge.

See, if you die here, you come back. An' yeah, usually you're in pain for about a week, bit sore, really, can't move, but you can't die again - you're already dead. So instead if someone here kills you, you jus' end up being resurrected, which is an amazing convenience, really.

But I'm not sure if the same is true for pets, so Johnny Boy stays close to me.

[spam]

[tucky]

[She looks intensely troubled by his words-- she shakes her head a couple times as he talks, and edges away.]

No.

If I die I'm going to heaven. I'm not dead; God wouldn't let me go anywhere else if I was.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

[Mason sits back down on his lounge chair, rabbit in lap. He cocks his head to the side, squinting up at the ceiling]

Technically speaking, this isn't a sort of final destination. S'more of a waypoint, really. I figure, if you graduate, you get to go on being alive. An' if you don't...I mean, I've seen the bright lights a hundred thousand fucking times over, but I've never been allowed to go with them, so I can't say for sure what's waiting.

S'not heaven here, love. But it's not so bad, being dead here. Better'n Seattle.

[spam]

[tucky]

I'm not dead.

[She sounds almost desperate.]

I know how it works, and if-- if there was a place like this, I would know about it already.

[spam]

[maced_eggs]

Tiff. Tiffy.

I'm a fuckin' grim reaper. I didn't know this place existed 'til I fucked up an' they sent me here.

If I'm aroun' working with death every single day of my...undeath, and I didn't know, what makes you think you know everything there is to know about what happens when you die?