maced_eggs | Post-It: ETD 00:01am

[Spam for the Dining Room, Morning]

[Last night, Mason, Grim Reaper, age 27 and dead for the last forty years, shucked off his muddy, blood-stained clothes and fell asleep on a couch in his Union Jack underwear.

This morning, Mason, still dead, wakes up on the Barge.

Mason's never been much of what anyone might call "consciously aware", or "observant." For example; he fails to observe he is not in his home when he wakes up. He fails to observe that all of his clothes have gone missing.

What he does observe is that he is bloody starving, and needs a very, very large breakfast to erase the nightmare of the day before. So after failing to observe that he is completely pantsless, Mason shuffles out of his room and off to find food.

Which is why, still half asleep and very nearly naked, is a man barging through the breakfast bar gathering up as many miniature cereal boxes in his arms as he possibly can. He doesn't merely stop when they're all gone: systematically, he goes around to every table he nears and plucks them from unsuspecting eaters when he guesses they're not looking.

Arms loaded with cereal, the mysterious, nearly naked man attempts to make a retreat.

He doesn't yet have the capacity to guess where he is at the moment, aside from the completely unhelpful "Not at home." But at least there will always be Fruit Loops.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

imfollowinghim

[Bucky surprises himself a bit by catching the box of cereal - what the hell is Captain Crunch? - although really, he's had years of playing baseball to perfect catching objects coming at his head, so it probably shouldn't have surprised him at all.]

Pretty sure they are free, [He calls after him.] No one's gonna lock you up for wanting breakfast.

[He's not sure about what the rules on stealing and indecent exposure are, though. That you'll have to take up with an actual cop.]

From:

maced_eggs

[Unfortunately for Mason, the kitchen doors are locked except to wardens given the key. He slams nearly face-first into the door, knocked down and with boxes of cereal going everywhere. Lying on his back on the mess hall floor, he glances back to Bucky, upside down]

Aaaahowww.

If I say 'please', will you not arrest me?

From:

imfollowinghim

I'm not a cop. [And he's not really a prison warden either, even if that is technically what he sort of is. Different kind of job, confusing title.

Bucky sets aside the box of Captain Crunch and gets up to start collecting the other boxes of cereal, but on second thought stops to offer Mason a hand up instead, wondering vaguely if there's a faster way to get him a pair of pants than trying to figure out where the hell is cabin is.]

Bucky Barnes. Something tells me you're new.

From:

maced_eggs

[At this admission, Mason's demeanor remarkably improves as his face splits into a relieved, sheepish grin. He takes the hand up, leaning down to catch his breath back]

Oh. You're not? You've got the, uh.

[He waves a vague hand at Bucky's uniform]

It looked a bit like a cop. From a distance. And I'm not new, I'm. Temporarily displaced, at the moment. Mason.

...Mason's my name, not my occupation. Actually it'd be a bit weird, wouldn't it? Bein' a mason and a Mason? That'd make you...what, a beaver?

Actually. Bucky. Buckaroo. Can you sort of...tell me whether or not I'm in trouble here?

From:

imfollowinghim

Or a deer. [That one's from River. Or he could be the worst president in American history, but that's besides the point.] It's US Army issue, probably from a long way back from where you're from.

[He's not... actually sure how to answer that part, because there's really no easy way to tell someone hey, you fucked up and now you're probably dead and stuck here until the guy running the show gets sick of you.]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess you've got no idea who the Admiral is, do you?

From:

maced_eggs

Nah. No, I'm lookin' at it up close now an' it's...[He gives a low whistle]

You're a long way from time to be going around wearing that. Looks a bit like what my dad wore.

No. No, 'fraid not. Who?

From:

imfollowinghim

[He hasn't quite gotten around to feeling old when people say stuff like that, but he kind of has a funny feeling he will, at some point.]

The man behind the curtain? He runs the show around here.

[And does a pretty halfassed job of it, from what he's seen so far, but it's kind of hard to be totally resentful of someone who gave you a chance to do something more with your death than just, well. Dying.]

Look, there's no easy way to say this, but either you died or were close enough to dying that he could snag you and bring you here to give you a chance to make up for some stuff you did back home.

From:

maced_eggs

[At this admission, Mason blinks. And blinks again. And looks totally confused, bringing his hands up and then setting them down again]

Hang on. Hang on, I think we're having a bit of a miscommunication here, Bucky.

You don't tell me I died, all right? I tell you you died. That's how this works. What d'you mean, make up for some stuff back home? Is this-?

[He cuts off, suddenly going pale]

Is this because I killed Ray?

Shit it is. It is because I fucking killed Ray! Oh shit. Oh shit, Rube is going to...Oh god.

[Now thoroughly distressed, Mason begins pacing in front of Bucky, gnawing at his nails]

Is this what they do to you? When you break the rules? This is where they send the reapers who fuck up too much? Because I was trying, but you should've seen him, I mean, he had it coming. I don't like to say it given our job but he did an' I'm not sorry and oh god. Oh god no please don't let this be happening.

From:

imfollowinghim

I know I died- [Bucky starts to protest, looking totally confused and then only moreso when Mason continues.]

Slow down, I have no idea what you're talking about. Look, here-

[He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out Chromie's pamphlet. It's a little rumpled, obviously well read, but still in great shape when he hands it over.]

This'll help. The woman who runs the library gave it to me when I showed up.

From:

maced_eggs

[Mason takes the pamphlet, still visibly distressed over having to face the consequences for his murder. He flips through it at a quick rate before closing it and giving it back, pushing it against Bucky's chest]

No. No no. Fuck your pamphlet, your pamphlet doesn't apply. I fucking know I'm dead, I've been dead for forty fucking years! Where's the bit where it says what they do to you when you're already dead and you fuck up? That's my pamphlet, not the one for those who've only just gone to the hereafter.

Fucking hell, Buck...

[He crouches near the floor, running his hands through his hair and looking near tears]

I killed Ray. I killed Ray an' they dropped me here.

From:

imfollowinghim

[No matter how many times stuff like this happens, he always feels totally out of his depth trying to do anything when it comes to emotional breakdowns, or whatever this is.

But he still tries, dammit, and he'd be one hell of an asshole for telling him this and then bailing on him.]

Look- [The pamphlet gets shoved back in his pocket, and then he crouches down so they're more or less at eye level again.]

I know this is nuts, alright? But you're here because someone thinks you deserve a second shot at whatever you were doing before, not because you're being punished for what you did. Calm down.

[He casts about for something else to offer, and settles for a distraction, something Mason can do instead of just sitting here panicking.] Let's get you some pants, and then you can tell me what the hell Captain Crunch is supposed to be.

From:

maced_eggs

What d'you mean, I'm not being punished? 'Course I'm being punished, I killed Ray, didn't I? I fucking killed Ray. I bashed his head in with a mirror over an' over an' I woke up here. On a fuckin' boat of all places!

[He rubs at his eyes, shakily]

...Yeah, all right. Maybe some pants. Pants first.

From:

imfollowinghim

[There's a growing sense that he should ask who the hell Ray is, or why he killed him, and what the hell a reaper is.

But he doesn't. Instead, Bucky grabs his arm above the elbow with a firm but gentle grip and tries to pull him back up to his feet.]

Do you remember where your room is?

From:

maced_eggs

[Mason is surprisingly docile and goes along with Bucky's ministrations, somewhat cowed by the authority inherent in the other man. He trails after his arm like a puppy]

I don't have a room. Or a house in which the room sits. I am technic'ly between homes at the moment.

From:

imfollowinghim

[Bucky lets go once Mason's up and following. Later, he'll be relieved it was this easy to get him up and focused, but right now, he's more focused on figuring out how to get him clothes if he doesn't remember where his cabin is.]

That makes two of us. [Sort of, he supposes he's still technically paying rent for his place back in Brooklyn. Or, you know, he was.] The Admiral apparently just gives you somewhere you stayed, once.

[But he diverts their course to check out the laundry room in hope someone's left some abandoned sweatpants or something around.]

From:

maced_eggs

You? But you're all...[he gestures up and down at Bucky] ...clean.

[He wanders after Bucky, through the sheer lack of any other kind of direction. This guy seems to know what he's doing and already promised not to arrest him, so he must be a good guy. Right? Still distressed about all this dead nonsense, Mason in the laundry room immediately opens up someone else's machine to begin yanking out clothes. What he doesn't like, he tosses, wet, onto the ground]

No. No. No.

Heeere we go.

[Yep, just going to slide into a pair of pants way too big for him]

From:

imfollowinghim

[... Mason, that is not how you.................]

Knock it off, [Is Bucky's immediate response as he goes to pick up the discarded and still wet clothes. He grabs a pair of discarded or forgotten track pants and gestures to the pair Mason's got on.]

Here, gimme those, and put these on. What are you, a toddler?

From:

maced_eggs

...I don't really think they're my color, thank you. Ooh, I like these, though.

[He grasps the front of the pants, pulling them out to check for labels]

Bit big for me. D'you see a belt lying around?

From:

imfollowinghim

You can't just take someone else's clothes, Mason. [And Jesus, he sounds like a mother. What is happening?] Stop going through the washing machine, alright?

From:

maced_eggs

What d'you mean 'can't'? I've just done it, haven't I? Through no small amount of effort.

[He straightens back up, shutting the washing machine door and still in his illicitly-gained trousers]

Yeah, all right.

From:

imfollowinghim

[That's... progress, he guesses. He'll remember to apologize to whoever's pants he stole later.]

You still want cereal?

From:

maced_eggs

Bucky, I do in fact want cereal. I always want cereal. This should not be a question you have to ask me.

From:

imfollowinghim

I guess I shoulda got that from the armload you tried running out with. Come on, you've still gotta tell me what Captain Crunch is.

From:

maced_eggs

Captain Crunch is not what you think it is. Captain Crunch is an itty cereal mascot. Hessnot a real Captain. Hessnot really anythin'. He doesn't exist, plain and simple.