maced_eggs | Post-It: ETD 00:01am

[Spam for the Dining Room, Morning]

[Last night, Mason, Grim Reaper, age 27 and dead for the last forty years, shucked off his muddy, blood-stained clothes and fell asleep on a couch in his Union Jack underwear.

This morning, Mason, still dead, wakes up on the Barge.

Mason's never been much of what anyone might call "consciously aware", or "observant." For example; he fails to observe he is not in his home when he wakes up. He fails to observe that all of his clothes have gone missing.

What he does observe is that he is bloody starving, and needs a very, very large breakfast to erase the nightmare of the day before. So after failing to observe that he is completely pantsless, Mason shuffles out of his room and off to find food.

Which is why, still half asleep and very nearly naked, is a man barging through the breakfast bar gathering up as many miniature cereal boxes in his arms as he possibly can. He doesn't merely stop when they're all gone: systematically, he goes around to every table he nears and plucks them from unsuspecting eaters when he guesses they're not looking.

Arms loaded with cereal, the mysterious, nearly naked man attempts to make a retreat.

He doesn't yet have the capacity to guess where he is at the moment, aside from the completely unhelpful "Not at home." But at least there will always be Fruit Loops.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

maced_eggs

Right. Right. Got it.

...What's the Barge?

From:

praesidium

It's a spaceship.

From:

maced_eggs

Fuck off!

From:

praesidium

[Alana raises a slight brow.]

You can go on the deck if you don't believe me.

From:

maced_eggs

We're in space?

We're on a spaceship?

In space?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I don't...get any of this. You're not making any sense, Alana, love. No one can be up in space, it's fucking space!

From:

praesidium

[Oh boy. If he's having a hard time with this, she can't imagine his reaction to being told he's dead and an inmate.]

Do you remember being anywhere close to here when you went to sleep?

From:

maced_eggs

No, but thassnot exactly a new thing. I fall asleep in one place and wake up in another all the fucking time.

Okay, like last week. I fell asleep at a playground at three in the morning, flat out drunk, an' woke up in the back of a cop car. How's that for random?

From:

praesidium

[Alana squints a little.]

I'm pretty sure you were just picked up by the police.

From:

maced_eggs

...Yeah, well, maybe. But this isn't the first time I've even woken up on a boat. I mean, they've got a word for it, don't they? Shanghaied.

Or just flat out kidnapped. But you'd think if they were going to kidnap someone they'd have taken someone with money. Or pants.

...Did the Admiral steal my pants?

From:

praesidium

Were you drinking before you fell asleep?

[Because that would explain a lot.]

From:

maced_eggs

Yes.

But only because I may have accidentally committed a homicide.

And also accidentally buried his body in Georgie's backyard.

You try doing that without drinking.

From:

praesidium

[Both of Alana's eyebrows shoot up at that. Not that there should be that much surprise that he's killed - he wouldn't be an inmate if there wasn't something like that in his background - but she didn't expect him to be so candid about it.]

Then I guess it won't come as a huge surprise to you that you're an inmate.

From:

maced_eggs

...Whassan inmate?

From:

praesidium

They're individuals who were taken from death or near-death experiences to be rehabilitated. They can't leave the Barge until they graduate or the Admiral decides to send them back.

From:

maced_eggs

...Does this happen to all reapers? Because fuck no did Rube tell me this was going to happen.

Why is this happening? Did you lot check me into rehab?

Is this an intervention for reapers?

From:

praesidium

[A reaper. Huh. A little less black cloak with a scythe than she would expect. But then again, there's a lot less pants than she'd expect so why would he bother with a cloak?]

There's a number of different species here. Vampires, werewolves, at least one dragon, mutants, humans, so no. It's not limited to reapers.

From:

maced_eggs

[Mason starts to grow visibly sulky, pulling back away from the table in suspicion that he's being made fun of]

A'right, Alana, thassvery cruel. That's a very cruel thing to say to someone as deeply hungover as I am.

So you're. You're not a, um.

How the fuck did you know I was dead, then? You're dead?

From:

praesidium

[Alana tries to stay as matter-of-fact as possible. He might not believe her and deny it anyway, but she doesn't try to convince him of anything. She just sticks to the facts.]

No, wardens are usually still alive when they come here. I know you're dead because I could tell you were an inmate.

And I could tell you're an inmate because you don't know why you're here or where here is. Wardens make a deal with the Admiral and know what they're getting themselves into beforehand.

From:

maced_eggs

...But I'd rather not be an inmate.

How do I stop being an inmate? I've been dead forty fuckin' years. No one told me I was going to have to do a boat cruise on top of all the fucking reaping I've been doing.

Is that what they do? The Admiral? Does he put you up on a cruise when you've reaped enough?

Because no offense but I do not think I like this place, Alana darling.

From:

praesidium

You won't find many people do.

I don't know anything about why or when the Admiral chooses the people that he does. No one really does and he's not one to answer any questions even if you ask him. What I can tell you is that you're here now. Eventually he'll assign a warden to you.

Your warden will be responsible in looking after your well-being and help you toward graduation.

[She holds up her hand slightly before he can ask and keep talking.]

That's the only way to stop being an inmate. You have to graduate. And everyone's path to graduation is a little different. It depends on what you need to accomplish. No one has any easy answers about what that might be and there's no time limit. It will take as long as it needs to take.

From:

maced_eggs

[The expression Mason is giving to Alana now is one who has realized that they are way, way in over their head. That everything they know has been turned upside down and they don't know how to fix it and are helpless to even try.

It's a pretty pathetic expression coming from anyone.]

Am I a bad person?

Does the Admiral think I'm a bad person? He...took me from my home, from my bed in the middle of the night...and put me on this boat. This fucking boat.

And I'm stuck here forever.

You only do that to the bad people. The ones you don't like.

Is this...you know..?

Edited Date: 2014-05-04 02:32 am (UTC)

From:

praesidium

No. It's not Hell. But some people might say it is.

You're not a bad person.

[Alana can't make the blanket statement that inmates aren't bad people. She can think of at least one bad person that's an inmate. But his concern about being a bad person or not tells her right away that Mason is not a bad person.]

You've probably made some mistakes or done things you shouldn't have.

And there's nothing that says you'll be here forever either.

Edited Date: 2014-05-04 02:32 am (UTC)

From:

maced_eggs

..So...so, what's this, then? What's it all about, graduating, getting out? I show up, I do a few good deeds, you send me home?

Did Rube tell you to do this?

From:

praesidium

I don't know who Rube is.

[Alana gives a small shake of her head.]

You can think of this place almost like a limbo. Once you graduate, you're free to go wherever you like.