maced_eggs | Post-It: ETD 00:04am

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[Video]

[Sometime shortly before lunch, an explosion of suds and soapy water escapes the laundry room, leaking out into the hallway. The immediate cause may or may not be Mason, who stands ankle-deep in the flood, missing his shirt and watching in horrified fixation as his own clothes not only wash themselves, but overload all the machines.]

This was not my fault.

...Honestly!!

But I should really like someone corporeal to come do my washing so that this does not happen again.

If anything, it's the Barge's fault for making its machines so bloody complicated. Who the fuck has ghosts doing their fuckin' laundry?

[He sits down in the suds, watching the self-washing laundry in perplexed hopelessness. Might as well take a bath while he's at it]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sickjoke

Right. On my way to help.

[ He's only a floor away, after all. ]

From:

maced_eggs

Johnny's come, though. Johnny know what to do.

An' Iris was telling me I needed a bath. Killing two birds, one stone?

Though it's sort of a cruel metaphor when you think about it.

From:

sickjoke

More hand's'll make light work.

John Crichton, right? Nice guy.

[ He's in the stairwell now. ]

From:

maced_eggs

He is. Isn't he?

But sometimes I think he thinks I'm an idiot. I get that distinct impression.

From:

sickjoke

Wonder why.

Almost there.

From:

maced_eggs

That was not a kind thing.

[but here's Mason, sitting in water, shirtless, piling suds into his lap]

From:

sickjoke

[ He should have brought his waders. As it is he toes out of his shoes, but leaves his black socks and slacks on. No need to bare skin. ]

[ He offered a hand to Mason. ]

C'mon, chum, let's get up and get this...what did you do, anyway?

From:

maced_eggs

[Mason's clothes are probably impossible to salvage now. He blinks up at Jack, reaching up to grasp his hand and pull himself back to his feet]

Me? I didn't do anything. Fucking Barge did this.

From:

sickjoke

The barge washed your clothes? Without help?

From:

maced_eggs

Why? Doesn't that happen here? It is a magic ship.

From:

sickjoke

No, I've totally done all my own laundry. Have you never done laundry before? [ He's not sure what to make of that, honestly. What sort of enormous manchild are you, Mason? ]

From:

maced_eggs

The machines are different.

...Also, no, actually. I just. Tend to wear clothes until it's time not to wear them anymore.

And then I go and find new ones. Who has fucking time or cash to do laundry these days?

From:

sickjoke

[ It's so good you can't see his face right now, Mason. ]

...That.

That's quite some logic you got going on there, son.

From:

maced_eggs

Saves me time and money, really. So it's very logical.

From:

sickjoke

Buying a new wardrobe every couople of weeks is not cost affected, Mason.

[ Just sayin'. ]

From:

maced_eggs

I'm not buying the clothes, am I?

That'd be ridiculously expensive.

From:

sickjoke

So you.

Steal clothes.

[ MASON. ]

From:

maced_eggs

Yeah.

But mainly off of dead people. No harm done.

See, what happens is, I reap someone who looks about my size, and I ask him where he lived. He goes off to the hereafter, I go to his apartment before anyone else and raid his closet for things I like.

From:

sickjoke

No, no. That... doesn't make it better.

[ He's facepalming so hard, even with no face. ]

From:

maced_eggs

'Course it does. They can't use it. I'm putting it where it does the most good.

From:

sickjoke

You realize you're doing that to people who have friends and family who might want a say in the deceased's belongings, right?

Because what they need on top of having someone die is to have that someone's apartment ransacked.

From:

maced_eggs

I like to think of it as collecting my fee for being so good about getting the soul off to where it needs to be.

People die all the time. You can't take it with you. So it goes to me.